If you are familiar with video games, you know there’s a classic way in which they unfold: When you start in the game, you’re weak and inept, but over time, by fighting various enemies, you gain “experience points” that cause you to “level up.”
The “experience points” mentality is, for the most part, unhelpful when thinking about growth in the spiritual life.
The vast and deep Catholic prayer tradition has many activities, such as the Rosary or various chaplets or novenas, that help us to pray in all circumstances (for more on the distinction between vocal, meditative and contemplative prayer, see the Catechism of the Catholic Church, No. 2697-2724). A temptation, however, is to think that the performance of these activities causes us to receive “grace points” and therefore “level up” in the spiritual life.
One particularly harmful thought process is the Catholic cousin to the prosperity gospel: “The more experience points I earn, the better my life will be in terms of material bounty, healings, better relationships, conversion of relatives, etc. Essentially, I need to convince God to give me what I already know is good for me. He is all-powerful, but I am all-knowing.”
This is, of course, false.
Hearing God’s voice
True spiritual growth is the inverse: The more I grow in prayer — which is simply a term used for communication with God — the more I understand how impoverished I am and how much more I need him in my life. I communicate with the one who already knows everything for my own sake, that I might understand better what to ask for. What’s really important is listening to what he has to say to me.
This should be easy but, instead, is difficult because of original sin and its effects.
The real measure of my spiritual life is how well I can perceive God’s voice in prayer, but also throughout the day as thoughts, feelings and desires arise in me. The mere exercise of activities — even wonderful, holy activities like devotions and Eucharistic adoration — does not automatically accomplish this.
Jesus makes this clear: “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words” (Mt 6:7).
Learning what to ask for
Instead, Jesus teaches his disciples to address God as Father and then beg that his will be done (Mt 6:9-10). Further, he himself models this when he says, while suffering, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done” (Lk 22:42).
Jesus promises that we will receive whatever we ask for — if it is good: “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Lk 11:13). He’s telling us to detach from our thoughts and plans, to be humble, and to know we are loved and that he loves those whom we love even more than and better than we do!
Prayer is about learning what to ask for, trusting that God already wants to give us what is best, and learning to love and accept his holy will in our lives.
