Question: This past week, we were to present our daughter for baptism. We were running late due to a family emergency. And thus, the godparents took our daughter just ahead of us to the church. When we arrived, our daughter had already been baptized. Twenty other families were there as well to baptize their children, so it was quite a crowd and there was no ability to wait. Is there any way we can baptize her again with us there to witness? Was she properly baptized with us absent? I am heartbroken and disappointed. Please help.
— Name withheld, via email
Answer: Your daughter is certainly baptized. Validity is not affected by the parents absence or presence. What is required is that water be poured and the proper formula recited. In the “old days,” most mothers were not present at the baptism since they were still convalescing after birth and since baptism was done within a day or two after birth (due to high infant mortality rates prior to 1900). Godparents (and often the father) took the child to church while the mother stayed back. Mothers were “welcomed back” after 40 days with a ceremony known as the “churching of women.” In that ceremony the priest thanked the mother for her labor, blessed her and welcomed her back. This blessing is now contained within the baptismal rite. The notion of “40 days” was rooted in the Jewish practice of presenting a child and his mother at the temple or synagogue 40 days after birth.
Be assured that your daughter is fully baptized and your absence, while understandably upsetting to you, does not affect the fact that she is baptized. All is well. To “rebaptize” her is not an option. She is already baptized, and to knowingly baptize a person who is already baptized is technically a sacrilege. Trust God. The sacrament was validly conferred, and now she is truly and without doubt washed clean, a member of the Body of Christ and a Temple of the Holy Spirit.
Msgr. Charles Pope is the pastor of Holy Comforter-St. Cyprian in Washington, D.C., and writes for the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C. at blog.adw.org. Send questions to msgrpope@osv.com.
